Self Sabotage: Support Your Dreams

By Linda-Ann Stewart Ct.H., Ct.H.A

Once upon a time, I was given a great opportunity to weave a shawl for someone and make some extra money. The person owned a yarn shop, and was even willing to give me the yarn. The assignment could have grown into weaving shawls for the shop. But I turned it down. I was afraid that I wouldn't be good enough. So I sabotaged what could have become a lucrative project.

In my practice, I see so many people sabotage what they say they want. Smokers who unconsciously create chaos in their lives, just as they've stopped smoking. Most submit to the stress, and start smoking again. Clients who have started to work with me to change their lives, forget their appointments. People constantly find ways to create distractions to give them a valid excuse not to do their dream. The dream that the Universe is supporting them to fulfill.

There is usually a purpose behind the self-sabotage. A belief has been implanted in the past, and changing threatens that belief. A person may have been put down so much, that every time they begin to move forward, they hear that judgement. The Universe had handed me a fantastic opportunity. I said "No" to it because of my insecurities and fears. To avoid the pain of hearing my inner critic, I unconsciously found a way to undermine my growth. The people who criticized me in the past couldn't hurt me anymore, but my mind hadn't gotten the message that it was safe to proceed.

If there's some area in your life that you've been sabotaging the gifts the Universe gives you, you'll probably experience a challenge when you begin to change. As you begin to change the old patterns, if you're like most people, you'll experience some resistance within yourself. You may procrastinate, or postpone needed actions.

Sometimes that resistance will show up as chaos. It may seem like things are getting worse. Don't worry, it's just that the cobwebs of your mind are being swept away. If you need to, consider what the underlying belief might be and address that with an affirmation. I had to work on an old attitude about struggling to prove myself worthy. By all means, don't give up. Support yourself, because your happiness is at stake. Say "Yes" to the Universe. Remember that all of the Universe is supporting you in your expansion.

You can let go of your fears, fear of failure or success, it doesn't matter. Universal Love will be there for you.

Linda-Ann Stewart is a nationally known hypnotherapist, writer, speaker and leads seminars on empowerment and stress reduction. You can visit her web site at

Copyright © 1999-2005 Linda Ann Stewart. All Rights Reserved


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By Stephanie
2007-08-02 10:06:49

Hello, I'm about to begin nursing school, which has been a journey full of many ups and downs. I worked extremely hard to arrive at the place where I am now. The only problem I'm having now is that I can clearly see how I am sabotaging my own future and success. For the first time in my life I feel that the universe is finally supporting my dreams by giving me all the necessary resources and support that I need to attend nursing school. Now, the only thing that is standing in my way is me. The program hasn't officially started yet and I just keep procrastinating and wasting time when I know that I have important things to do. I just can't seem to find the motivation to study for a pre-nursing course I'm currently taking right now. An instructor told me last week that I need to focus because I'm distracted. I'm not distracted by any personal problems. I'm the one who is distracting myself to prevent success. What is my problem? It's not that someone has put me down, but I'm afraid of failure and success at the same time. I'm afraid of disappointing the people who have high expectations from me and I'm afraid of being successful. Thank You.

By Kirk VandenBerghe
2007-08-02 10:11:28

Hi, Stephanie. Journaling can be very useful when working to unblock this kind of inner jam. If you like, write out everything you can: your feelings, your thoughts...everything that comes to mind. Pay special attention to write out all of your fears, especially if you judge them. Give voice to ALL that is occurring within your being. You don't have to react to or agree with your fears, and their associated beliefs. What's useful is to compassionately acknowledge their existence. One way to get moving is to use the beings of sentences, like: "If I succeed at being a nurse, I won't be able to [fill in the blank]. Use your creativity to come up with questions like that.

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