Mending Relationships - Unconditional Love is Mine

Mending relationships can be very challenging after an emotional breakup. One of the most questioned I receive most often is about relationships, is "How do I make him/her love me?" If we look at this question objectively, there's an underlying belief here, and that is, "I'm not loved". In metaphysics we know that this simply isn't true. A primary assumption in metaphysics is that total, unconditional love exists, and that each one of us has the right to receive it.

A second message which is communicated in the original question is that one can somehow force or persuade another to love them. This is actually symptomatic of the first issue, a belief that one isn't loved already. In this situation we may fixate on someone who fulfills a belief for us that we're unlovable. We may then be realizing a deep seated belief that doesn't need to be.

So the first place to begin to get help with mending a relationship is to begin examining your deep seated beliefs. So, what has to happen in order for us to receive the love that all of us need and want? We have to get in touch with the essential lovability of our own being. The best way that I know of to accomplish this is to allow ourselves to receive the love which we're all entitled to, that of a Higher Power. When we're in the throes of unrequited love, this can seem grossly irrelevant. However, it's exactly at that time when we most need it. Unrequited love by definition says that we cannot be loved in return. This is destructive to our self-image and can raise serious doubts about how worthy we are as a person. Letting a pure, unconditional love permeate our being can erase many of these self-doubts. This makes us more attractive, interesting and powerful.

What usually occurs when we begin getting in touch with our own lovability is that the previous object of our affection becomes far less attractive to us. In my opinion, this is because once we begin to understand our value we no longer are attracted to someone who undervalues us.

Try allowing yourself to experience a love that thinks you're absolutely fantastic. How do you mend a broken heart? Mend your relationship with yourself first. Whatever your understanding is of a Higher Power, let yourself enjoy a relationship with your higher nature that is loving and supportive of you. Allow yourself to experience what it's like to be completely cared for and adored. Your perspective on love may change and it may be easier mending relationships.

Famous Quotes:

"I would rather fail in a cause that will ultimately succeed than succeed in a cause that will ultimately fail."

--Woodrow T. Wilson

 

 

 

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By nikki
2008-06-19 17:51:25
 

I have this very confusing problem with my boyfriend. When we had first gotten together, I had cheated. He took me back, I now live with him. The problem is, I have been doing so much to let him know that I have been doing the right thing ever since. He is the one that I want to be with and regardless of what I had done, I would never do anything to hurt him again. It does go much deeper, but it would probably be a book to explain it. In his last relationship he was badly hurt, plus things he has gone through in his life causes him to think that he cant really trust anyone. It's hard for him to believe that someone could love and adore him. He second guesses everything. It makes me confused to the point where I don't even know what to do. He tells me that I have to gain that trust back, but I feel that what you said is true, You have got to find that love within yourself to even know that someone can love you the same? It just feels like to me that I can only do so much to prove to him, that if he truly doesn't love himself that there is no way that he is going to let me love him? Does that make sense? I don't want to give up because I don't want to feel like I am turning my back on him. I hate the fact that he even makes me question how I truly feel about him. I am confused and angry that he is so quick to just give up on something that he said is important to him. Do I let him go and let him figure himself out? Maybe thats what he needs, or keep fighting? I guess I am just having a hard time trying to mend things back together.

 
By D.
2008-06-19 17:56:49
 

Hi Nikki, it sounds like you are giving it your all. I wonder if counseling would be a good option? You can't undo the past and you have been true to him. It is really up to him now. I wish you the very best, and I do hope that he starts to wake up to the fact that you truly love him.

 
By Piya
2008-08-26 07:23:56
 

I'm in love with a person who I know was in love with me. We met each other through an on-line site and were doing well. He lives in a different country. We didn't meet each other but we felt a strong connection and were heading towards marriage. One day I saw his profile in my sister's friendship list. She rejected his profile but since then we are not in touch. I'm feeling cheated, and I think he is embarrassed because after that he knew that she is my sister. Kindly guide us what must i do. My love is true for him. I wrote him last. Should i leave him and move ahead or send him one more email. Thanks

 
By Patrick
2009-10-25 18:57:52
 

Many years ago I gave myself to another and loved her unconditionally. We were young and she apparently did not love me as I did her because she kept trying to leave. I wanted her to be happy so I helped her to pursue her dreams even though it was not with me. I was devastated and spent the next two years lost and grieving. I tried to find another and dated for awhile but it was never the same. Then one day I met a woman that seemed to care for me very much and for two years I was happy. But people wear masks and as she removed hers I realized she was not a caring person at all but a someone who just wanted to use me for security. She was only interested in the material things I could give her. I found myself trying to get her to put the mask back on until I realized how pathetic I was acting. Now, instead of just settling for just anyone, looking for someone who can appreciate what I have to give and willing and able to return my unconditional love. You see, love ,true love is unconditional. However relationships are not. This is very difficult because everyone wears a mask that hides their true self. I have learned to see through them and see many other people who are hurt and afraid. They have learned to hide themselves from the world and when you get to know them too many of them are mean and self centered. But I will never stop looking. I just pray that God will send someone for me.

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