It Takes Two to Spiritual Tango!
By Rajgopal Nidamboor
When you are tending to a relationship, or are in love, you need to think out of the box, and relate to the spiritual dimension in yourself and your partner. It is only when you practice this simple, but profound, relationship mantra, will you never feel “lost” with yourself and your partner -- your true love.
You always thought that it's never as good as it was in the beginning.
You are wrong!
It is possible for anyone to be attracted to someone you first meet. This isn't also quite related to the sublime; it is typically physical. Not surprisingly, when the excitement of that unique feeling becomes “lighter,” you often tend to think that something has gone wrong with the relationship.
This is erroneous. The fact is -- you have only misread the significance of your relationship.
Like any other relationship, the function of romantic relationships is keyed to how you learn to know and appreciate who you are in proximity to the person you are so enamored with. This is also one good way of opening up your own awareness -- because, most often than not, getting to know ourselves is often latent in us. Only thing is it is not as easily discovered as “knowing” someone else.
As you may know, our emotional relationships are a response. They are all part of a wonderful process. They are quite like any other experience -- akin to how we all experience harmony in the aftermath of a stressful situation, or while dealing with our needs and wants.
However, what makes romantic relationships unique is they offer the prospect to re-discover and share our affection for one another through empathy, kindness, agreement, and acceptance. They are not related to negative feelings and situations that may have shaken (y)our world before. In other words, romantic relationships often give a new meaning to our life. In so doing, they also delineate and revive the very idea of who exactly you are -- not what you were, or could have been!
Another significant contribution of a romantic relationship is the sense of self-security it brings to either party.
We are basically human. Hence, we are often susceptible to influences -- especially during the initial stage of any relationship. It is also not uncommon for us to feel out of sync with our own concerns -- more so, because nobody would want to “lose” a prospective partner. But, what if it holds such a possibility? No need to push the panic button. All you need to do is draw upon the eternal strength of your spiritual resources -- howsoever elementary, or inadequate, they may seem to be.
Remember -- our spiritual energy is secure. When we build our trust on its invincible elements, there is no reason why we cannot overcome our own illusions -- or, our own delusions of uncertainty.
You ought to get the point. You need to, therefore, with your own understanding, recognize the purpose of romantic relationships to get going with it, and making it the best you can ever have.
Acceptance is the Key
The first thing you'd do is to accept pain along with the pleasure that comes with any relationship, and vice versa. You should also not be too demanding, and judging, your partner. This is a definitive prerequisite for you to savor each moment of your relationship -- and, the bounty of happiness it brings for both parties. To suspend judgment -- you should always bear in mind -- is next only to godliness.
You also always thought that you are not “complete” without your partner!
You are wrong, again! What if there's a break-up -- where will your definition of being “complete” go?
Also, if you're “right,” you need to delve on the fact that God would not have created more than one human being -- man and woman -- to experience the physical aspect. God made us to find out who we really are, and what the true nature of love itself was. It takes two to tango, right?! Simple reason why we need others to do this for us, and vice versa. It is also only through our partners that one can share love, and relish the delight of that supreme experience, and also what it feels to be truly in love with!
A Voyage Called Love
Love is a great voyage by itself. It helps us to connect and re-discover ourselves. Yet, it does not "complete" us. If we had all the love within us and ourselves, as already cited, there would have been no need to receive love from another. This isn't all. Aside from the man-woman equation, it is also the love we share with others that helps us to know what true affection is -- of what makes love an emotion in motion, all by itself!
Another important thing you should bear in mind is -- you need to seek true happiness within yourself. Not outside -- because, if you look outside yourself for happiness, there is no way you'd get it! This holds good for all the happiness you think your companion will bring into your world too -- this is no different from any other figment of your own imagination.
So, there it is! True love, just like true happiness, is achieved simply from within. This is reason enough why you should not ask for the impossible, especially by placing too many demands on others -- to make you happy or complete!
Great relationships, you'd do well to remember, evolve in the mind. To cull an example: even strings, as the great philosopher Marsilio Ficino observed, seem to respond to strings that are similarly tuned, and one lyre resounds in answer to another, or a solid wall would echo to one who calls.
Trust in Love
This is not all. You'd do well to keep in mind yet another analogy -- only when you are loving and happy with yourself, can you allow others to spot, value, and also love, the real you -- (w)holistically. In other words, your love should be true and enormous; it must also derive pleasure from the whole “you” of your partner's being. Not just the body, but also her/his mind, soul, and spirit -- in their totality.
What's more, you should also trust in the fact -- that when you are tending to a relationship, or are in love, you need to think out of the box, and relate to the spiritual dimension in yourself and your partner.
It is only when you practice this simple, but profound, relationship mantra, will you never feel “lost” -- even in the face of conflict, or stress, from which no marriage, or relationship, is exempt.