Long Term Relationship Advice - Finding Your Soulmate: Part 3
In the two previous articles I kept mentioning the need to release ego in order to find your soulmate. In this column I'm going to get more specific about what type of ego needs to be released. It's actually very simple and pretty obvious, if not all that easy to actually do.
In order to meet your soulmate, you have to be willing to open up your soul. This can be very scary stuff. Since many of us are unclear about where our soul resides and what it may be up to, here are some pointers. Your soul is where you keep your deepest needs, feelings, hurts and desires. It's probably the part of the psyche which is most ferociously defended and it very likely is the most vulnerable part of the Self. The defenses that we may use to protect this and the masks we wear to hide it away are aspects of ego. In order to open up the soul, we have to stop defending and protecting it.
It can be very spooky to contemplate this. Opening the soul means that we speak the truth of who we are, what we may fear and what we deeply care for to a world which isn't known for it's compassion in these areas. If we felt that we lived in a compassionate world, there would be no need to hide from it, now would there? Opening the soul requires courage, enough so that we're willing to endure ridicule or disbelief in our most tender spots. Luckily the soul is a whole lot tougher than we give it credit for being. Also very fortunately, when we come from the soul without defensiveness, most people instinctively recognize and honor our actions.
This may be hard to believe. A major part of the reason we defend the soul in such a dedicated fashion is our memory of having been hurt in the past. Why should it be any different now? The difference is the conscious choice to align one's loyalties to the soul. When we know that rejection may occur, but are honoring the needs of soul regardless of this, there is power. The power is a spiritual, metaphysical power of Truth. This power is a protective force which ensures that no matter what else occurs, soul growth has happened and we are better for it.
The fact remains that this opening is necessary if we wish to meet a soulmate and build trust in relationships. There seems to be significant difficulty in hooking up with and sometimes even perceiving a soul mate unless we drop these defenses. It makes sense metaphysically, since the Universe draws to us that which we most deeply need. If we're covering up that need with masks or defenses, there is no way that what we really need can come to us. We are actively inhibiting it.
In order to experience something as extraordinary as a soulmate connection, one has to take extraordinary risks. In this case the risk is the sacrifice of ego for the potential reward of a deeply fulfilling relationship with someone who knows you fully and loves you just as you are. A soul mate.