Relationship Intimacy: Magic of Keeping a Relationship Fresh

The most magical technique we can use in a relationship is that of treating it as brand new so the love and intimacy can deepen as time goes by. This doesn't mean that we can't still derive the warmth and comfort of having history together, or that we lose whatever knowledge we gained in character analysis. Instead, this means that we look at this person as if for the first time, untainted by old judgements and expectations. This freshness actually deepens the bond and connection.

All too often, experience will show us that we can "expect" certain negatives from someone we've known for awhile. What can be very interesting though, is that sometimes these folks are just waiting for an opportunity to change. Or, (ahem) they already did change and we were too lost in the past to notice.

This is most likely to occur if we have visualized a better life for our loved one and then let the visualization go. If we keep pushing at the visualization, keep efforting at an affirmation to alter someone else's behavior, sure enough it won't happen. It isn't until we release it, decide that we can live with it whether this person changes or not, that we may see a shift.

Notice that I said "may". All too often, I get requests to do a metaphysical treatment to "make this person love me." In my opinion this is an exceedingly selfish and controlling point of view, presupposing that loving in that direction is the best of all possibilities. When I hear these requests is when I most seriously question the benefits of these two people being together. Instead, I will do a healing treatment for the requestor, to open their heart and allow freedom and love to occur naturally for both parties.

When we are willing to view a our partner in a new light, we often will find new things to love which will enrich the intimacy in the relationship. It is amazing to me how, when we're locked into perceptions from the past, what a tremendous amount of information we're blinded to in the present. For instance, what about that bit of silver in your partner's hair? It lends an interesting sense of dignity, doesn't it? Or that special sense of grace your daughter is showing? Now that she's grown out of her "gawky" stage, isn't she beautiful? How about your best chum? When did he/she gain that special insightfulness?

A great relationship tip is to notice the people around you as if you've never known them before. Treat them with the courtesy and respect that you would upon first meeting them. Appreciate them all over again.