Love and Relationship Advice - Keeping the Soulmate Connection

A very important issue when giving love and relationship advice is all partners experience up and downs or highs and lows, in their loving relationships. Therefore, the popular idea of a heavenly soulmate connection tends to be a fantasy that resembles the fairytales of Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella or something along that line. Indeed, the romance may indeed be similar to this. But...

There's a whole lot more to it.

Coming together as soulmates is a matter which goes beyond loving companionship or great sex, it is truly a deep connection. This is about the soul, that magical, mysterious core of the Self which contains the experience of the ages, the depth of feelings which can go into and beyond the deepest psychosis and a committment to our Source to evolve past our egoic 'box'.

The connection of one soul to another will stir things up. We come together with a soulmate in order to grow as a soul experiencing a love relationship in a body. It may not always be pleasant as a human being. We will definitely be faced with just the right challenges to bring up our greatest fears and stimulate our deepest sadness. The personality issues of one can seem to be powerful enough to topple the whole relationship. Please note what I've said, "The personality issues of one..".

I receive many stories from readers telling me how their soulmate can't seem to deal with the relationship. They, of course, are blameless. They're loving, supportive, under- standing, etc. It is incomprehensible why their partner should be so difficult that is why it is so important to share advice about this subject.

I would be willing to bet that if you and I could be flys on the wall, what we would see would appear to be just exactly what was described to me. However, if we were to look a bit closer, I think we'd see something different. I suspect that we'd see one partner who was a perennial caregiver, someone accustomed to sharing deeply with others. The other partner quite likely is someone who is used to being cared for, is good at receiving. Or, if not specifically these qualities, we would see well-defined, habitual "roles" that these individuals were used to acting out in relationships. Due to the synchronistic nature of a soulmate relationship, these roles would ordinarily be quite complementary. For some reason however, this time it isn't working. Why not?

Remember, the purpose of a soulmate relationship is to help us to grow as a soul. This means that we're supposed to move out of the usual "box" of behaviors, attitudes and beliefs that we sleepwalk through. Instead, we have to wake up, be there, be alert and very, very authentic. This means that if we usually act out the role of caretaker, being soothing and understanding, but what we really feel is betrayed or manipulated, then we have to say so. Instead of going to the "rescue" of a partner, we may have to say, "Look me up when you grow up". Or, we may need to take the reins away from a domineering partner and tell them, "You are not allowed to make these choices for me, no matter how well-intentioned they may be", even though it means more work on our part.

Although metaphysically it is true that we are all reflections of one another, nowhere is this more true than in the soulmate relationship. My issue will probably feed into yours until we both get sick of it. This is why there is no truly "good" partner and "bad" partner in these relationships. The one who is being so apparently perfect, simply isn't expressing the truth of themselves. Thus, they get to see the "bad" partner acting out much of what is within themselves.

Advice given, being part of a soulmate relationship is a lovely and magical situation. We can experience a quality of fullness and love that goes well beyond anything we may have had in our lives before. I think it's important to remember though, that we have a higher responsibility in this soul connected relationship. We are often tested as to whether we're going to live life in accordance with the reality of our soul, or continue in a superficial existence of "shoulds" and "supposed tos".

Famous Quotes: PRAYERS

"Our prayers are answered not when we are given what we ask, but when we are challenged to be what we can be."

--Morris Adler