Repairing Relationships: Creating Spiritual and Emotional Intimacy

An important subject when repairing relationships is to examine spiritual and emotional Intimacy.Creating Intimacy is a phenonmenon that occurs in the presence of trust. It needs to be defined separately from sexuality, since one can definitely exist without the other. Sex can take place while a part of the self is being held back and kept private from one's partner. Spiritual and Emotional Intimacy opens up without barriers to one's partner, sharing the secret portions of the soul. Intimacy can occur without any physical contact whatsoever, just as sex can ocur without souls touching in any way.

As I said, creating intimacy requires trust. It also requires a level of perception of another human being which goes beyond the material. When we are being intimate with another we are aware of their qualities of compassion and understanding. We sense our common bond of humanity and make a conscious choice to allow our vulnerabilities to be exposed. When another honors us with this opening of their frailties, we are being presented with the responsibility to handle these frailties with care. Some of us are willing to do this, and some aren't.

In a close relationship of any kind, this is an opportunity to achieve a mutual intimacy which provides growth for both of you. Failing to do so usually ensures that the opportunity will not present itself again. Often, in marriages, families and friendships, problems arise due to neglect or misuse of this opportunity. The person who has shown their weakness and been rejected, ridiculed or ignored will shut down. The individual who chose not to accept this gesture of intimacy has usually done so due to lack of tolerance of their own emotional reaction to it.

There are those of us who have simply chosen not to be on the receiving end of intimacy. Naturally, they have this right. However, it is far less damaging to human relationships if this is handled tactfully. Abusiveness in the face of human intimacy may protect oneself in the short term, but the long term consequences can make for a very lonely life.

Inadvertent damage to a relationship in this fashion can be remedied by returning the honor of offering intimacy that touches the emotional heart and spirit. Opening up and showing one's own weaknesses in the matter is very healing in such a situation. Confessing one's own inability to handle intimacy will remedy the hurt as the bond of humanity is re-established.

Repairing a relationship when nurturing spiritual and emotional intimacy builds a foundation for sexual intimacy to happen naturally. So take care in bringing the emotional wisdom to consciousness to make yourself and your partner happy on all levels.