Parenting Advice on Toddlers and Learning to Listen

Trying to get children of any age to listen is a challenge-some adults won't even listen to their parents! But if you start teaching children the value of listening while they are young at least you have a chance to show them how to learn to listen when others are speaking-that alone is good parenting. Parenting advice-toddlers and otherwise-is geared toward reminding parents what they already know; largely, it is about using common sense and having manners.

This means that you will get to be a role model. Do they see you stop what you are doing and look someone in the eye while they are speaking or do they see you nod uncommitted and continue to look down at whatever you were doing? When you meet a friend on the street, do you actively engage in conversation or do you look away while you think about other, more pressing problems? Do you ask leading questions which are the cornerstone of an actual conversation and do you actively listen? Actively listening is about asking questions to get a clear picture of what the other person is saying. By actively listening you can avoid jumping to conclusions about a situation. This comes in handy especially when your child is trying to explain to you why they got in trouble at school today. It sure comes in handy when parenting adolescents.

But back to the toddlers; with children that young, the best way to teach them to listen is to have them repeat back what you just said. This can be interesting because you may find that they are hearing something completely different than what you meant. For toddlers who are just learning to speak, this obviously won't work as well, but then how high are your expectations for them to hear what you meant? Even at the young age of two, you can still start practicing teaching your child to listen by asking them what they heard you say. (Not if they heard what you said.) This is one of the first skills you are taught in parenting children with ADHD.

This works with all of your family members if you can do it without sounding condescending. It certainly doesn't hurt to ask someone to clarify what it was that they thought you said. Wars have started over less. Remember to look your children in the eye when they speak. Repeat back to them what you heard, and allow for them to clarify it if you heard wrong. Do not argue with them, you may not have made yourself clear. By following this parenting advice for your toddler you are beginning to teach them respect.

 

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By Megan
2009-07-15 21:11:21
 

I have a 3 year old son that was diagnosed with ADHD about a year ago. At first I thought that he may have also been autistic, but he's now talking with the best of them. Daily I am struggling with his aggressiveness and destructiveness. Everything seems to turn into an all out war, and I've had to go as far as taking things out of his room and the house because once he's played with something and is finished with it he feels the need to destroy it. In his doing this my home is also ransacked. I have 2 other children, a 7 and 1 year old daughter. I feel that my 7 year old gets pushed to the back burner a lot because I'm having to focus my attention on my son and of course the baby. I am a single working mother of three and need advice on how to deal with my son, and also be able to bring some of the "happy mommy" time back to my other children. We miss out on a lot because I dread having to take him to any functions. He really is a sweet and loving little boy. When he acts out it hurts my heart so badly and all I can do sometimes is sit back and think "This is not my son." Who is this child, and "how do I bring the sweet little boy back?" If you have any tips that can help my family and I in dealing with this please let me know. I'm all ears. At this point I'm willing to try just about anything so that we can all return to leading a happy and loving family life. Thank you.

 
By Judy
2009-08-11 19:02:01
 

I have a three yr. old adorable grandson who well seems adorable only when he chooses to be. It has become very difficult for my daughter to take him any where as he always acts up and causes a scene, plus he likes to runaway. As he is running on a road and a busy parking lot he will look back with such a huge grin, as I am sure he thinks it is a game. He just simply does not listen at all most of the time. It is getting to the point that I fear for his life. He seems to have a short attention span which makes things rather difficult. Please we would appreciate any help. Thanks.

 
By Deb
2009-08-17 19:00:56
 

Hi Judy, many three year children are not mature enough to have down on the ground in a parking area. It may just be that it is too early for him to cope with the situation. I would not have him out of the cart until he reaches the car. It is something he needs to practice. You might try it in a parking lot that is not as busy at first until he gets used to the idea that cars use the road. Point out the cars and let him feel your car and how hard the surface is etc. Repeat that he is small etc. In time he will catch on. As far as the scenes go, if you are with your daughter take him to the car. He should not be rewarded for his behavior. If you take him home and get nothing a few times he may start to catch on to the fact that his behavior is not getting him what he wants.

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