Types of Parenting Styles and Their Effects on a Difficult Child

The different types of parenting styles have an effect on how well behaved your child is. Children with poor impulse control or tantrum throwers can be linked to permissive parenting or avoidance parenting-not knowing how to deal with the child so you are overly permissive or setting unusually strict rules that the child is simply incapable of following due to their stage of development.

Permissive parenting is allowing your child to get away with unacceptable behavior out of guilt-usually attached to the lack of time a parent can spend with the child due to the parent's work schedule. This is particularly prevalent in single parent households but can happen, of course, in any household. Dual parenting vs. single parenting is not the issue.

Avoidance parenting is setting the child up to fail-although not intentionally. The parent believes that the key to a successful child is a disciplined child but erroneously believes that this means laying down very strict rules. It is avoiding the real challenge of teaching the child right from wrong by letting them make mistakes.

If you have what the school district has labeled a "difficult child" a lot of it has to do with your parenting style." Strong willed" is another common term. Hard to hear but the truth; some of the child's behavior is developmental-they are at the age where they are testing boundaries and this is a normal part of development. It's how you parent the boundary testing that determines whether or not the behavior continues. It is important for you as the parent to find a balance between allowing too much boundary testing and none at all.

If you are lost as to how to do this, relax-you are not alone. So much so, in fact, that you can find active parenting classes at your local community college and other community resources to begin to learn how to find that balance. The little guys and girls don't come with instruction manuals, and you're only using what you learned as a child for a basis on how you are parenting them.

There is also a book titled "Positive discipline" by Jane Nelsen which has helped many parents and teachers work with "difficult children." There are many different types of parenting styles, but they boil down to permissive, avoiding, and balanced discipline. Everyone needs help parenting their children from time to time. If you get a handle on your strong willed child while they are still in grammar school, you will be way ahead of the game by the time they reach high school.