Temper Tantrums at Bedtime - What is a Parent To Do?

I have a 22-month old daughter. Up until recently she was a wonderful sleeper all of a sudden for about almost a month now she started having tantrums before falling asleep and she says no sleep, no bed, and she will have a tantrum as soon as I leave the room. Sometimes she will fall fast asleep and then suddenly she will awake at 3am or 4am and she will be having a tantrum. She will yell and kick and scream at the top of her lungs. She has no tears and does not appear to be having a night terror. Help!

I have a 3 year old son who has made bedtime an absolute horror. My husband and I never had any problems until earlier this year (we moved into a new house before Christmas 2006). Now he won't stay in bed and screams like crazy. We have tried all the super nanny tricks - putting him back in bed without speaking to him and sitting outside his door - and we have tried gates (busted them down). Sitting outside his door works...but its like a treat for him. And since we started sitting outside his door, he won't stay in bed throughout the night....frequently up and in our room - send him back and he screams like crazy. Wake up in the morning and he's laying on the floor somewhere in the house. It has gotten even worse since the 4th of July. He would scream for hours at every pop. We are trying to be consistent...but I am at my whit's end! And so is my husband. Any suggestions?

My two and a half year old son will not go to sleep unless I sleep with him in bed. This started when we switched him from his crib to a regular bed, so we have no control over keeping him in his crib utill he falls asleep. Also he wakes up in the middle of the night screaming wanting Mommy to sleep with him, or he comes into our room wanting to sleep next to me. I don't know how to teach him to sleep in his bed by himself.

My 18 month old daughter has always been a delight. Always loved to take her naps and get ready for bed, waving good night to her family when she is ready for bed. Recently she has just had these horrible fits. It's triggered randomly. It can be in the middle of the night, after a nap, before bed, or at random. She also hordes her toys. Any stuffed animal or blanket she wants to be put to bed with, she has to have and she curls up into a little ball. I have no idea what triggered this. She is genuinely upset and will turn purple if she can't grab her animals and blanket's. The only way she usually calms down is if I hold her on my lap and we sit quietly. Sometimes it is up to an hour before she calms herself down. Has anyone else had a child do this as well? There are days that it becomes so mentally draining, and I want to help her. But I am told it is just night terrors. I have read up on them and they say its about 90 minutes after falling asleep and her "fits" never happen then. It sometimes is three to four A.M. when they happen. Nothing tragic has happened in her life either. Can someone help me?

Help my 20 month old daughter is having major tantrums before bed. What should we do?

Cassie, it is very important to stay on a schedule that is repeated each night. Sometimes a child of this age does not want to go to sleep because they feel they will miss out on what is happening when they are put to bed. Turn the sound down on the TV and use area lamps so that the lights are toned down about an hour before bed. This will help set the mood. A warm bath before bed, and getting her in her pajamas while you get showered and ready for bed will give her the idea that everyone is going to bed soon. Also a fluffy blanket and a quick good night story never hurts.

I have a three old daughter, who does not want to sleep in her bed. The minute you try to put her to bed in her room, she cries and the crying does not stop. She is only prepared to sleep in our bed. She used to sleep in her own cot. I do not know how else to approach this anymore.

Rita, you may need to take a step back and analyze what is happening. Is she afraid of the dark? Are you stressed about something and communicating this to your daughter unknowingly? When children are fearful they sometimes will react this way.

I have a 2 1/2 yr old she has always sleeps in her bed. But for the past couple of weeks she doesn't want to sleep in her bed its ours. She screams and yells and bangs on the door and you couldn't go to sleep if you wanted with all that noise going on. We don't have to do anything but lay her down cut the light off and shut the door. We have done this since day one. But like I said nothing has changed she wants to sleep with us. But she is too old to be sleeping with mom and dad. She is the only child. I don't know what to do. Before all of this we were talking about having another child now after this my husband says no that I'm crazy. What should I do?

Hi Jennifer, sometimes you have to just be firm and wait it out. You will prevail in the end.

Child Behavior Modification is so tough. There are moments that yelling at them is not enough. Tantrums in toddlers start when they want something which they cannot get or even when you do what they don't want to. According to > Tantrum Toddlers Researcher, the best way to deal with toddlers tantrums is to create the best activities that are fun and educational. You have to remember that at this is the stage, child adopts all things that happen around him. This is also the best time to allow your child into different activities.

In situations like this, first thing you could do is to offer him something that may divert his attention. You can give him his bottle of milk or make him see any other interesting thing you can find within your surroundings.

My daughter is 2 1/2 and she tries her hardest to stay up as long as she can. She will kick and scream at the door, call me to come back for whatever reason she can think of or sit at the door and sing songs. Once, she wanted me to come back because her teddy had a boo boo and I needed to kiss it better and put a bandage on it. Another time it was because Grandma told her she had five more minutes before bed. When I opened the door, she had her play phone out for me and told me Grandma said so. She also told me that she couldn't sleep because her teeth were singing. She has thought of things I never would. She is good. Things have been like this since before her second birthday. All I do is make sure her bedtime ritual is mostly the same every night. Dinner, some playtime, bath, story time, tucked, hugs and kisses, go to sleep. No matter what I do, I know she isn't going to go to sleep when I leave the room. I have accepted this fact. I just make sure that she still knows I am at home, but it is bedtime and she needs to go to sleep. Sometimes she screams or whatever for five minutes, sometimes an hour, but eventually she will go to sleep. She is a happy toddler but she just doesn't like going to bed. Basically what I'm trying to tell you is don't go back into their room. Once you put them to bed they are expected to sleep. If they can open the door consider securing it somehow so it is not so easy for them to get out, like a baby gate or something. If they do kick and scream at the door just remember that they won't hurt themselves. They will most likely stop first, and eventually they will learn that bad behavior is not rewarded in any way. Going back and putting them back into bed, even if you say nothing, is still attention, and that is what they want and it doesn't matter if it is positive or negative. It make take a week or a month, but if you stick to it then it will get better in time. Children at this age don't always know what to do with the emotions they feel because they don't have all the words to express themselves properly. Try and make sure that they know you hear and understand what they want, repeat what your child says with emotion just like they did if it helps. Then make sure they understand what you want, for them to go to bed because they need sleep to grow big and strong. It's all about communication. My daughter is down to a five or ten minute freak out at bedtime. I don't expect the freak outs to go away entirely until she is a little older. She's two. Some parents think that their child is worse than most, but reality is most kids are worst for their parents, and all kids go through the terrible two's. Though, your child does not need to be two to be in this stage, mine started at approx. 1yr. and 9mths. When she has night terrors, and I go and cuddle her for a while, get her to calm down, then she goes back to bed. She has a nightlight if she wants it and a radio for background. Hope this helps.

My husband and I are trying to determine if this is truly a problem that we need to address or just go with it? Our 22 mo. old son has never liked to sleep by himself even from the first week. He almost always gets his 11-14 hours of sleep and its evident from his good natured temperament, but when he's by himself in his room, it's fitful sleep and never as deep as when he comes into our room. He doesn't sleep in our bed (normally) but in the pack-n-play. He's just happy for the company. In perspective, I know most of the rest of the world co-sleep, and this is a practice that's been done for millenia with families, but is it a problem in today's society, or is it only a problem if it's a problem for us? We don't want to do anything that would enable poor habits or bad character traits later on but at the same time, we don't want to take a stand on an issue for something that's ultimately not a big deal, or something he'll outgrow and eventually want to sleep in his own room. This isn't a toddler bedtime tantrum, or poor bedtime ritual issue, and it's not even that he fights sleeping, because he doesn't on the rare occasions when he goes to bed late, he just sleeps late and it's that good. We've always been textbook for following schedule and ritual. The biggest difference has been when he sleeps in his own room or bed and when he's with us; we finally clued in to this when we traveled and we all slept in the same room because we were in a hotel. Advice?

My 27 month old is a monster at bedtime. If I put him in his bed, he will run to the door and slam it, proceeding to bang his head hard repeatedly on the door. I can also hear him slapping himself. He will scream and I try and let him scream it out, but my husband says he can't stand it and he will just yell at him to go to bed. It's so frustrating because my husband expects him to just go to bed and doesn't understand that toddlers push their limits at this age. The only way my son will go down is if I lie in bed with him.

We had a situation, my 2 year old daughter refused to listen to us and would have terrible tantrums. Our problem was resolved, thankfully! My best friend, who's hubby is a Doctor, recommended this program parenting potential. This program was a small miracle for us and now I finally understand why my best friend, who is also a parent of two twin toddler girls and a one year old boy, is always so laid back and in control, while I was ready to pull my hair out. You should definitely check it out. A must have for parents. Good luck with everything.

Missy, where can I find more info on the Parenting potential program?