Questions on Self Confidence: What's Wrong with Me?


How often have we asked ourselves this question, or something like it? Not only do we ask it, we are capable of probing deeply into our psyche in order to find an answer to it. However, as metaphysicians we must understand that what we go looking for in consciousness, we will undoubtedly find. Therein lies a wrong turn.

Psychologically speaking, the mind will react to certain questions that are asked of it in very specific ways. The "Have you stopped beating your wife?" type of question that this article refers to, brings up certain mental mechanisms that we might really prefer to avoid.

This question is far more potentially damaging than the wife-beating issue, due to the fact that one can wander eternally through the byways of meanings of it. Is it that there's something wrong with me physically? Mentally? Emotionally? Spiritually? Am I broken in some way? Must I be fixed? Someone I respected asked me that question when I was a child. I don't know the answer! Oh dear, oh dear!

If we can't come up with an answer, the chances are that we'll create one. This type of question, one that causes us to itemize our deficiencies, disperses our energies and causes confusion on a very deep level. If we are attempting to seek a cause to some trouble that we've gotten ourselves into, the odds are high that we'll come up with the wrong answer altogether! This is due to the severe introversion that this type of self-questioning can cause - we simply are not very accurate in this situation.

Many of us on the spiritual path are accustomed to deep self-examination. We attempt to evaluate our lives in terms of a paradigm for which we rarely have a role model and may have to dig deep for unusual answers. On this type of question however, we may trip ourselves up badly.

The basic problem here is that there is no right answer! It is like asking what is wrong with that cloud. Or that blade of grass. The question itself is wrong. There is nothing wrong with you. You may wish to evaluate your actions within a particular social structure, or to determine your worth to one specific peer or cultural group. These have nothing to do with who you are. They simply relate to your outer circumstances, which obviously change on a regular basis.

So, if you must climb deep within your psyche in order to find the answers to your life, don't ask yourself impossible and irrelevant questions. If it has developed into a compulsion, get help with it. You'll make far better progress and have a much healthier and more positive attitude and mental scope this way.