Word of the Day: You Are What You Speak
The words that you use can have a powerful effect on the life that you experience. Many otherwise spiritually oriented people will use certain negative phrases which undermine the effectiveness of their inner work. These also can be actively destructive in areas of life that they very much would like to improve upon. We've all known our share of "Bad news Betsys" or "Dismal Dans" who will recite the most horrendous information with an almost gleeful pleasure. Although they may be meditating or visualizing positive concepts, their outer demeanor actively invites disaster.
Although these are more drastic versions of what we may encounter, we may be unconsciously employing such self-defeating tactics ourselves. Many of these may be slang terms which can seem almost meaningless, but that still have their effects on the sub-conscious mind. This part of the mind is extremely literal and will take the words that we speak as law. If we are trying to create a higher quality of life for ourselves, this can be self-defeating.
Oddly enough, this is most likely to happen in our closest relationships. When we feel safe with a close friend or loved one, we can be more likely to recite our "litany of woes" to them, knowing that we can be reassured and supported. A simple "I feel awful," can impress that concept on deeper levels of mind. This doesn't mean that we can no longer communicate when we feel troubled, but that we must take greater responsibility for our words. For example, "I felt bad today, but I'm ready to feel better now. Can I talk it out with you?"
Presenting another with your problems can be very irresponsible unless you are willing to also offer creative solutions. Showcasing a difficulty gives that difficulty greater power, whereas showing a willingness to resolve it puts you back in control. Emphasizing problems in your communications, attracts more problems to you as they appear to be of great interest. This is the subconscious mind's interpretation. If your problems weren't so interesting, why would they need such attention?
Paying close attention to the words that you use in casual conversation can be quite enlightening. Particularly if there is a difficult issue that you've been wrestling with, the key may be found in your speech. A difficulty in relationships could be found in repeated use of the phrase, "Who cares?". This is a very telling remark if one is feeling unloved, and it strongly implies that no one could or should care. This has nothing to do with whether there is love to be had, but it certainly can ensure that we won't experience it. Simply altering that phrase to reflect the reality of the situation could enable interesting insights. The reality of course, is that the speaker cares very deeply, but is trying not to show it. As we express our caring, we receive it.
Some turns of phrase can be deeply destructive on an inner level. "That's life," implies that betterment cannot occur. "I can't," reinforces an artificial inability. Cursing can be particularly destructive. If you are thrusting such negativity towards some object, person or activity in your life, you are strengthening its undesirability. I have friends who, when they get angry, say "Aw, BLESS IT". This is closer to the desired end, don't you think?
Some of us are so unaccustomed to hearing ourselves, that it may be helpful to write it down. Try taking notes of a normal, brief conversation you've just had. Just write down the words you've said. If you do this throughout your day as you have the opportunity, you may find some surprises. As you look at the words you've spoken, relate them to chronic issues in your life. Do you see any correspondences? This can be a bit tricky, especially if you use a lot of slang terms. This is because we rarely look at the real meaning of these terms, and the fact that we may not use them in the same context implied in your dictionary. The subconscious mind will though. Its literal, whether you are consciously or not.
Learning to take conscious control over the words that we use can bring immediate positive benefits to our lives. The shift isn't only due to the words themselves, but to the fact that we are being more conscious of the meanings behind them. This is a major metaphysical tool. Some belief systems consider that every word has its own unique vibration which can be harmonious with the Cosmos or not. This may be so, but for our purposes we're looking for what you may be telling yourself in your conversations with others. This can be easy to shrug off as inconsequential, but if you'll notice, the most successful people use successful terms. The most peaceful people use serene words and concepts. The most fulfilled people use a great deal of creative terminology.
Altering your vocabulary can alter your self-image as well as the opportunites you attract into your life. As like attracts like, someone who uses self-defeating language will attract defeat. As you use positive, uplifting language so will you attract positive and uplifting experiences.