Escaping the Illusion’s Web: Objectifying the “I” – Part Two of Five

The first lesson of this message, then, is creating intentional separation. This lesson consists of three simple exercises. The first is relatively easy: simply rephrase your question, substituting your given (first) name for the pronoun “I” or “me.” For example, you might be asking: “I am a caring person who loves to serve others; why am I unable to attract the perfect man into my life?” Rephrase this as: “Why is Mary (to use our earlier example), who is a caring person and world server, unable to attract the perfect man into her life?” This instantly creates parallax, a second point from which you can simultaneously view. Incidentally, that is how your eyes – separated by a mere 2 1/4 inches – create the illusion of depth.

By re-asking your question in the third person, you not only create a first level of separation from the I that appears enmeshed in the problem, but you invite in a host of other parts of you (different lower subpersonalities and higher aspects of your I-continuum) to comment or offer suggestions. Your many other I’s place at your disposal both different perspectives and varying amounts of awareness or consciousness, depending on their roles in your life and their place on the spectrum.

Are you any of them? Again, yes and no – depending on which aspect is asking the question. Each of them is a part of you, but you are far more than the sum of these parts. In fact, the essential you is none of them, just as the orchestra conductor – though indispensable for unifying the performance of a seventy-piece orchestra – doesn’t play a single note.

Unless you disengage from the dominant subpersonalities that have run your life since you were a toddler – that is, until you see that they are a part of you but the essential you is none of them – you can’t create a sturdy and reliable enough foundation to carry out the mission you came to Earth to perform. Too often, people take up lives of service who cannot successfully tie their own metaphoric shoelaces. That’s like an artist seeking extraordinary new ways of expression before being thoroughly grounded in traditional technique. Consider Picasso, for instance, who began his artistic life painting in the classical style before departing into the fanciful worlds of cubism and other innovative abstract interpretations.

The second exercise in this lesson is about exploring why you are facing this particular problem. What if this situation was created specifically for you? What are you supposed to learn from it? Is it part of a recurring pattern? But as you contemplate these questions, use your name rather than “I.” For example: “Why is the universe going to such great lengths to deny Mary the perfect man in her life? Is there something Mary isn’t seeing or is unwilling to look at? Has this happened to Mary before, in other ways?”

Do not rush this exercise by accepting the first convenient answer that pops into your mind. Instead, hold the inquiry in your mind as you go through the day. It will work as a filtering lens that attracts and sorts information in a most extraordinary manner. Synchronous events will occur that provide important insights, expanding your Awareness in unforeseen ways. You may also begin receiving powerful dream messages that will shed further light on what you are coming to understand.

After completing the first two exercises in this lesson, move on to the third: linking your problem to the realm of archetypal patterns. This works like a cosmic trampoline, propelling you out of the level of the perceived problem into the universal arena of archetypes. Restate your problem on a universal scale. For example: “Why are so many world servers like Mary blocked from attracting their perfect mates?” This removes the “little I” from the equation entirely. Now you can revisit the drama of your problem and observe its energetic patterns from a universal perspective. The profit of this exercise is nothing short of magnificent. Not only does it allow you to move past your own blockages, but you’ll also appreciate how you, and so many others like you, got ensnared by this particular part of the illusion.

These exercises are to be done quietly in your mind – they are not about referring to yourself in the third person as you speak to others. It is best to set aside a sacred place and time to meditate and use conscious breath work to focus on your three exercises, moving to the next only after the previous one has borne fruit. This will set up the process that allows answers to percolate.

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Jean-Claude Koven is a Rancho Mirage, CA based writer and speaker. He is the author of Going Deeper: How to Make Sense of Your Life When Your Life Makes No Sense, the Allbooks Reviews editor’s choice for the best metaphysical book of 2004. For more information, please visit:

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