Loving Ourself, Loving Others: Imagine what it would be like to have other people caring for others.

All of my life I have talked and walked with spirits and angels. While sleeping at night, I have and still am taught by a great spirit that appears in a form of a man. His white beard, long white hair and a staff gives him the essence of an ancient wise man. Does his visitation make me infallible or special? No, I am not God, Goddess, Buddha, Mohammad, or any other name someone can give the greatest spirit of all. However, the lessons I have been taught are to share with everyone. I will share one lesson now.

Quite a few years ago, modern psychology took on a new twist. Therapists started instructing people who were stressed out to start thinking about themselves. They would instruct their patients to no longer put family members first or community but instead to think about themselves. Initially this sounded like a great theory considering so many people were stressed out trying to help family and friends. Yet in looking back at what developed from these instructions, I have to say it was one of the largest mistakes anyone has ever made concerning mankind. It began the moral decay of humanity starting with marriage and family.

While involved in any loving relationship, putting yourself first will not make a enduring union. However, when you have two people putting their self first, you have two people not working on a relationship. Selfishness persists and divorce soon finds itself in the form of paperwork in the top drawer of your vanity. If this continues, you will find many such decrees's attesting to today's psychology in your drawer and in your new spouse's drawer too. In addition, you will have numerous tales to tell your friends about the selfish, self-centered actions of ex spouses.

I say to you - and listen well - it is not about leaving. It is about staying and working on each other's happiness. It is not about what they did to make you leave but what they did to make you stay! It is about working through the hard times to reap the good. It is about give and take and the emotional quality you give so you can receive. Karma works. Reap what you sow and if you sow good so shall you reap. Enhance your marriage by making a partnership rather than a one-person show. Whom wants to be an emotional charity that every one is expected to give to?

When living in a neighborhood, working in a group, or belonging to a family, it is not all about you. It is about them as well. In almost any situation - it is about caring about the other people in the world. If you show them how this is done - then they in turn will put you first and care for you. Imagine for a few seconds what it would be like to have other people caring for others. What an old but workable concept.

Those that say it is all about them or look out for number one they are alone in looking out for their best interest. A world of people who think of others before their selves have many people looking out for their best interest. Which seems more comforting?

This brings us to the matter of trust. Those who have practiced the rule of "It's all about me" (I AAM) have little trust in others. They look at it from the point of view of " I do not trust until you give me a reason to trust" rather than " I trust until you give me reason not to". They, in essence, are the ones who see the glass as half empty rather than half full. They are not risk takers.

How sad to walk around looking at every face you meet with distrust! If you distrust a person, you will not like them! So in essence, we have the majority of the world walking around self-centered, eyeing those they meet with distrust and withholding the bonds of friendship. That could be a HUGE source of anger building inside a person! Imagine how ALONE these people feel! These people are never satisfied with life. They are the ones that can be given their dreams on a silver platter and still complain and want something different. Trust, love, and happiness come hard for these people. They expect perfection from all but their selves.

I do not endorse being a rug for everyone or condoning when anyone mistakes your kindness for weakness. However, if you carry self-centered, untrusting behaviors too far - you are the one walking on other people. Generally, the IAAM type people use the kindness of others and take it as a weakness. They use the gentle giving hearts as stepping-stones to other things they want. The kindness is now considered weakness and they no longer respect the person they are using. In all honesty, they probably do not even realize they are doing this.

If this article describes you, then start opening your world to people who love you for who you are inside. Turn over the position of president of your own fan club to someone else who loves you unconditionally. Start doing things for others and releasing the "I AAM" way of life. You will be surprised the difference this will make in your life. Be prepared to have many watching after you instead of one.

If this describes someone, you know, give them this article - then hug their neck and love them unconditionally. Do not encourage selfish behavior in your friends or in those, you love. You are not helping them by tolerating such behaviors. Remember to love them enough to speak the truth with love and to help them foster behavior's, which enhances their life. Without their ability to wake up and correct their lives, they have a slim chance of success in their careers, relationships, or family life.

A coward is incapable of exhibiting love; it is the prerogative of the brave.
-- Mahatma Gandhi

All ambitions are lawful except those which climb upward on the miseries or credulities of mankind.
- -Joseph Conrad

Rhiannon Waits is a syndicated columnist with her column published in 14 different countries and translated into 4 different languages. You can purchase "Little Lessons on Love And Life" at Amazon.comLittle Lessons on Love And Life, book private sessions, schedule speaking engagements, or attend book signings by calling 850-941-4190. You can also visit her web site at RhiannonWaits.com. Rhia lives in Pensacola Florida with her life partner, Steve, and her children. Rhiannon Waits is a renowned Psychic/Medium.